Why Sometimes House Projects Win Over Work Projects? (Work-Life Integration Series), Episode 180

This is episode 180. How to avoid daily distractions to focus on your business growth (work-life integration). We are going to tackle a huge hindrance to business growth, especially as a solopreneur who wants to be a good mom too. This episode comes from a survey I recently conducted with moms in business. One insight that grabbed my attention was this one: a solopreneur had this to say: it’s easier to see a clean kitchen than the impact of social media posts. Have you ever had this happen to you?

You hire a social media expert who designs templates, gives you Mad Lib frameworks, and sources great stock art.

She even goes as far as telling you on Monday to share Behind-the-Scenes, on Tuesday to share an offer, Wednesday do a REEL, meanwhile throughout the days be sure to like, share, and comment on the posts that tackle the ideas you agree with or want to spread in the context of your zone of genius. Oh, and I want you to send authentic and relevant audiograms personalized to prospective clients as part of continuous business development. I’d also encourage you to comment and respond to every single comment made by others.

This is an entire job. As a coach who has been building my business was 12 years I know this is an endless effort. There have been AI solutions to tackle this. Full dashboard systems to facilitate this. Meanwhile, the landscape is a moving tactic. All of this is fabulous but what do you do when you’ve been at this for three months, one month, one week and you are not yet seeing clear results? The unfortunate alternative for some of us moms who work from home is that we turn our attention to the things that give us INSTANT GRATIFICATION.

I recently surveyed moms in business and this comment rang SO true that I had to do an episode on it!

Focus is hard. It’s easier to see a clean kitchen than the impact of social media posts.

The issue is this: you do not build up the momentum necessary to lift your business if you constantly stop, start, stop, start your business-building efforts. In this case, it’s social media. The same dynamics are at play when it comes to creating business offers and sending them out into the market. Same idea for writing business-building emails. You’ll need momentum so that the audience trusts your expertise.

The issue is also this: that pull to get you to clean your kitchen will get stronger the more you succumb to its call during the course of a day. You feel good about yourself for seeing a clean kitchen. You get a visitor and your visitor is impressed by your clean kitchen. You were told as a little girl that to be a good mom you must keep a clean hour. All of this is what I talk about in my book Fertile Imagination….it’s part of the mom scripts you inherited. On its own, there is nothing wrong with a clean home or a sense of pride. However, if this keeps bamboozling you every single time you want to make substantive progress in your business

All this is provided your business is what brings you excitement….fulfillment and joy….then you are setting yourself up for daily, weekly, and dashboard disappointments. It will be very difficult to peel yourself off the ground by yourself…I know I’ve tried and I’ve needed help too over the last 12-years.

Consider this one change in perspective: How can you make the impact of social media or a written book or anything in business as easy to see as a clean kitchen? What would it take for you to believe that you are making an impact from social media/anything in your business? Let’s define: impact as in there is a lift in leads. This might be the impact that you are holding your breath for and that’s the issue. You are reserving your feeling of accomplishment for others to tell you when to feel them. You are waiting for others to tell you when to feel a sense of satisfaction for the work you did. Let’s apply the Jerry Seinfeld method instead. He would write a joke every day and cross off each day on a calendar on which he this. The joke could have sucked. The satisfaction came from seeing that you didn’t let yourself down. Derive a sense of satisfaction from seeing those X’s, stickers, word counts, or outbound posts.

This is one way to stay focused and not let yourself become distracted when you are building a business. You want to feel a sense of satisfaction. The way to ensure that feeling is possible for you every day as much as it would be easy to stop and clean your kitchen instead is to create a game you can win.

What will it take to win every single day for you? How can you take back control by holding yourself accountable vs. waiting for results to feel like you are winning?

There’s a lot more that goes into this approach. You will want to hold yourself accountable and ensure that you trust yourself enough to do the work and not fall to the risk of being bamboozled by distractions, especially as a mom in business.

I want to help you make this habit stick. I have opened 8 spots in the next two weeks towards this end. Let’s clarify what impact needs to look like for you to feel a sense of satisfaction every day. You’ll need this to build the blocks of your business right now so that you can have a fruitful business or book or podcast. The same rules apply so go to www.melissallarena.com/sessions

This free consultation is for a mom in business who has committed to building their business. It is not for someone who is just interested in feeling more focused.

It’s for a mom who is willing to invest in themselves because their business vision is compelling, exciting, and part of why they wake up every single day. My goal is to help 1-million plus mentally + emotionally exhausted moms in business become more resilient, playful, and connected to others so that they can boldly go for impact beyond their imagination. If this resonates with who you need to be to thrive in 2023 then sign-up for a free consultation today.


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DOWNLOAD FIVE JOURNAL PROMPTS + A WACKY TRUE STORY FROM MY UPCOMING BOOK: Fertile Imagination: A Guide To Stretch A Mom’s Superpower For Maximum Impact


“Melissa is an inspiring display of tenacity and motivation. Whenever you’re feeling stuck, peruse Melissa’s thoughtfully compiled tips and exercises and you’ll be creating magic in no time.” – Suzy Batiz, Chief Executive and Visionary Officer, ~Pourri, The Makers of Poo~Pourri, supernatural, Alive OS®


In this chapter, you will SEE what bringing a sense of curiosity, playfulness, and a willingness to dream for yourself can do for both you and your family. You’ll also have the opportunity to answer five key questions that will help you unlock ways you can rewrite your “mom scripts” so that you can cultivate a sense of playfulness every single day!


For moms like me, the pandemic was an opportunity to re-evaluate and course-correct things in our lives we weren’t thrilled with. Coming out of this period, sluggish yet motivated, so many of us can use this book to help us wake up! If you’re looking to refresh, reenergize, and yes, reimagine a better version of your life, this book is for you. I loved the hilarious, yet poignant stories about motherhood today and the window into the world of those who’ve gone for it – and did it. – Macollvie Neel, Brooklyn, NY

This chapter is about getting in touch with your creative, playful, imaginative side. The part of yourself that perhaps felt freer before you became a parent, before you chose your identity and had a lot of responsibilities weighing you down. In helping you get in touch with your more playful, creative self, it not only helps you on a path toward greater happiness and fulfillment, but it also helps you to feel more fulfilled as a parent. – Mom/PR

The words: imagination, play and fun are not the usual things we as mothers think of when wondering how to get a grip back on our career and I believe it provides a really fresh take and lots of food for thought for mothers reading it. I think that the tone is so energetic and fresh that it is why I would pick it up. – Latina Mom/Positive Psychology Coach

Melissa is a mom of three with big dreams who tells it like it is. She draws on her own experiences and the experiences of professionals she’s interviewed for her podcast to reflect on the plight of the mother. How do women conform to or challenge the traditional “mom script”? If you’re a mom, what can you do to break the “cultural glass ceiling” to be yourself and a great parent, all without having to force yourself into a mom mold that doesn’t fit you? Melissa is like a great friend, honest and wise and funny, telling you about her life and asking you to reflect on yours. This book is a great purchase for moms in every stage of life. – Aspiring Novelist, Librarian, Mom To Two Kiddos

In her book, Melissa shows us that motherhood does not have to be a pause or an end of your pre-child self. With guidance from her podcast guests, she encourages us to think big, find what lights us up, think big, and move towards our goals with the steps that fit the reality of our lives as they are today. In doing so we honor and inspire our child(ren), and our own inner child. – Single Mom To A 12-Year Old Boy

"Fertile Imagination" a practical guide for working moms!

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Melissa Llarena

Melissa helps movers and shakers up to those in the corner office rediscover what makes them unique so that they can land their dream job in a forward-thinking company where their ideas are listened to, valued, and supported.

She brings insights from having worked in 16-business units (including Human Resources) in NY, Paris, and London. Additionally, in her former corporate career, she worked on billion-dollar brands for P&G and on IBM for Ogilvy & Mather. Later, as the founder and CEO of Career Outcomes Matter, Melissa created a 3-step “sellable strengths” process which has been the centerpiece of her clients' results.

Melissa applies this method consistently to support mid-level professionals up to the c-suite to get into Fortune Global 500 organizations and agencies. She studied Psychology at NYU and earned her MBA from the Tuck School of Business at Dartmouth.

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