What does it take to earn back the trust of not just anyone, but your kids? In this week’s episode, I invited Tim Taylor as he shares how he tried to earn the trust of his daughter back.
He also shares how fathers can create space for their daughters so that they can open up with their dads. He particularly talks about how not to rob daughters of the experience of having to go through difficult times, and instead, give them the grace and the dignity to go through them.
Especially in a divorced family environment, the relationships are fragile. In Tim’s situation, his daughter lost her trust in him, having witnessed him going through a spiral, including being addicted to a substance and going through financial woes.
Whether you’re a dad or a mom, or maybe you’re the child who lost trust in their parent/s, you’re going to get some ideas from Tim that you can apply to your relationships as well.
Emotional well-being is imperative to us as parents. If you still haven’t gotten on the waitlist for my book, please do so: www.melissallarena.com/waitlist
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Back to this episode, you will learn how to get to a place where you can hang out with your adult daughter and just joke around; how to earn the trust of a daughter after you’ve lost it; how to create the space for daughters to share their experiences with their fathers, and; how to not rob your daughter of going through difficult times
Share this with a dad who has a daughter (or two or three or more) to help give them a new perspective on how to talk with their little girl!
Tim Taylor’s Biography
Tim Taylor lives in San Francisco, CA, and is the father of a 21-year-old daughter. He is a passionate advocate for every Dad trying their best to keep up with the velocity of how things are changing for our daughters. He is a committed supporter of our daughters finding their paths with our support.
More than anything else, he believes it’s NEVER too late for us Dads to get help and be the best we can be. It’s a sacred and unique relationship that deserves maximum emotional fluency and understanding.
At this time, Tim is performing a one-person play in November of 2022 called The Father Daughter Dance which is based on his experience raising his daughter in the context of some of the difficulties he had personally with addiction, ultimately getting sober.
It is an expansion of Tim’s podcast The Father Daughter Dance which is devoted to helping dads keep up with the velocity of how things are changing for their daughters. They can then help their daughters find their inner greatness, agency, power, and vulnerability, and allow them to be who they are and align with what they want.
Communication: Things like exchanging notes with your kids or watching their favorite shows together can set a solid foundation in your relationships.
Dignity: Let your kids have the dignity of going through hard moments because there’s going to be an opportunity for them to grow and learn from their mistakes.
Struggle: It’s hard for most dads to hear their daughters struggling. But they can’t rob them of the dignity of going through difficult times.
Space: Just become a witness who holds space for them. Let your kids feel they’re seen, held, heard, and loved because that’s what creates dignity.
Ask: Today’s generation is more willing to understand the value of help.
Stepping out: A lot of times, parents feel like they need to step into certain situations in order to protect their kids, but at a certain point, too, stepping out is as valuable as stepping in.
Empowerment: There’s power in working on our own stuff. And there’s power, too, in letting kids work on their own stuff.
Support: If you’re a mom, what role do you think you can play in a daughter-father relationship? Sometimes, that may mean getting out of the way or allowing dads to nurture their relationships with their daughters.
Explore: If you’re a mom, allow dads to get involved, even in those matters you think are only unique to you and your daughter. Give them the opportunity to get to know their daughters.
Express: Leave a lot of space to talk about feelings. Allow your daughters to share their feelings in a way that they want to share them.
Time: The time when your daughter doesn’t want to talk about stuff is as important as the time when she comes to talk to you. Both are important. Wait for them to be ready to open up.
Trust: The trajectory of growth is more complex in a father-daughter relationship. And so there has to be a series of trust-given and trust-rewarded experiences.
Self-forgiveness: It’s important to give yourself grace and have compassion for yourself.
Courage: Our responsibility to our kids is to pass on a whole new perspective about what it means to be emotionally adept.
If you enjoyed this conversation, check out these episodes with similar themes:
Links to continue to learn from:
- Website: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-father-daughter-dance/id1556215258
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/izontheprize/
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/TimothyJTaylor
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thetimtaylor6
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