One Decision Can Change Your Life + A Free 10-Minute Meditation For Better Decision-Making For Moms, Episode 190
- One decision can change your life entirely.
- Melissa shares an anecdote from her book, Fertile Imagination, about her mom’s one turning point decision moment back in the 60s.
- Melissa leads a 10-minute meditation to help you build a greater awareness of your body sensations.
- Melissa talks about the decision to raise bilingual third generation Latinos.
Excerpt from Melissa’s book: Fertile Imagination: A Guide for Every Mom’s Superpower for Creating Maximum Impact – https://www.melissallarena.com/waitlist/
The wrong script for you can hold you back. My Puerto Rican grandmother, who finished school after the third grade, got impatient with my mom back in the ’60s. One of three girls, my mom attended a community college to earn her associate’s degree. No other daughter went that far. My grandmother once told my mom, that’s enough school! She saw school as a waste of time for a girl. Decades later, my mom enrolled in college because she really wanted to earn a bachelor’s. The problem was that my mom was working full-time, I was born, and she had to complete all of her domestic duties for my father. No adjustments would be made to her script because my mom was carrying a full load of classes. My mom’s anxiety levels, due to her duties of being the primary caregiver as a wife and mom on top of her studies, led her to quit. Imagine if my mom, before she met my dad or had me, could have called BS on her own mother? Lashing out at your mom in a Puerto Rican household in my mom’s experience could result in a black eye so bottling up disappointments was often a better option. The baby step to changing a script that doesn’t feel true to you is in asking yourself the question: Is that behavior or expectation right for ME?
Melissa’s story about raising bilingual third generation Latinos:
For me, I was told by my mom that my kids should be spoken to in Spanish. So that is one generation of moms telling me another generation of moms. Meanwhile, my grandmother would only talk to me in Spanish. Let’s be clear. She understood every single word in English. And I knew that she could understand what I was saying, but it was like she’d be unresponsive if I opened my mouth and said anything in English. So this idea that you have to know Spanish was ingrained in me and frankly it’s been a struggle. And it’s this decision that I have had to really think to myself, okay, like, am I doing this for myself or am I doing this for my mom or am I doing this for my grandmother, right? These decisions are the ones that can change the trajectory of my kids’ lives. My advise is to check-in that its a fight for going into because YOU would want the outcome. Check-in as I mention in my book that it’s not just a “mom script” that’s been handled down to you. Or a glass-cultural ceiling you were meant to shatter?
*Update: the 21-day challenge will now be the 5-day challenge to ensure you complete the experience along with your school-age child.
Get on the list while it’s free: https://www.melissallarena.com/fertileideas
The meditation:
Close your eyes and take a deep breath in through your nose. As you exhale, let go of any tension you’re holding in your body.
Now, bring your awareness to your feet. Notice the sensations you feel in your feet. Are they warm or cold? Do they feel heavy or light?
Slowly bring your awareness up your legs, to your knees, your thighs, your hips. Notice the sensations you feel in these areas.
Continue to bring your awareness up your body, to your torso, your chest, your shoulders, your neck, and your head. Notice the sensations you feel in these areas.
Now, bring your awareness to your breath. Notice the rise and fall of your chest as you breathe in and out.
Continue to breathe deeply and slowly, paying attention to the sensations in your body and your breath.
When you’re ready, open your eyes and bring your awareness back to the room.
Takeaway:
- The decisions you make can have a big impact on your life.
- It’s important to be aware of your body sensations and what they’re telling you.
- You can use meditation to build a greater awareness of your body sensations.
- Raising bilingual children is a decision that should be made for the right reasons.
Subscribe and Review
Have you subscribed to my podcast for new moms who are entrepreneurs, founders, and creators? I’d love for you to subscribe if you haven’t yet.
I’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast for writer moms.
Creative [mom] entrepreneurs! This is for you: Sign-up at www.fertileideas.com
*Please note the length is changing to 5-days for busy moms
FREE Summer Opportunity – A closer look at the 21-days imagination to impact challenge…in 21-days you will:Transitions Are Hard For Moms Too! Here’s A Free Meditation To Help (Mom Summer Camp Series)
Set the groundwork to reawaken your fertile imagination
- Set physical and emotional boundaries to explore the power of your fertile imagination
- Remove mom guilt from by getting your family involved and on the same page
- Set a meditation routine to be more present while ideating and mothering
- Gain tools to have the energy and enthusiasm to add this 21-day challenge to your plate
- Uncover ways to leverage your kids’ very awake imagination to help you play more
Play with your fertile imagination while capturing the ones that light you up
- Return to the little girl you once were with a fertile imagination and a desire to play
- Experience novel topics to see which enhance your mood to test if it’s a real passion
- Encourage your kids to use their fertile imaginations to enhance your playful experiments
- Explore new technology or things your kids enjoy to experience having a learner’s mindset
- Fill your fertile mind with new data that can spark other ideas or enhance existing ones
Stretch your imagination by adding form to the one fertile idea you want to bring forth this year
- Uncover how to expand your knowledge and relationships around your fertile idea
- Get the language you need to pick up mentors and begin to ask for this guidance
- Ask for your personal fans for support on this next chapter
- Find your tribe and find ways to engage or be there which is also great for the kids
- Build out an ideal week to see how you can confidently build this into your school weeks and vacation weeks alike
This challenge is a example of the application of key concepts in my book Fertile Imagination!
Sign-up at www.fertileideas.com
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See the book cover and vote on your favorite
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Get a sneak peek at the behind-the-scenes book-writing process
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Join my Imagination to Impact 21-Day challenge first to bring my three-stage method of reawakening your imagination, playing with your imagination, and stretching your imagination to your daily life and see what using your fertile imagination can look like and how this can turn around your relationship with your kids too – https://witty-thinker-2643.ck.page/b887cf40e2
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Learn first-hand about playful and fun book launch events (online and offline)
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Snag a FREE chapter today and start your journey towards becoming the fun parent through a series of imagination warm-ups created for the most ambitious moms who feel like they lost a big piece of themselves (along with their placentas – literally or figuratively) – for the FREE chapter go to: http://www.melissallarena.com/waitlist
Praise For Fertile Imagination
Both book participants and podcast guests are featured below
Melissa is an inspiring display of tenacity and motivation. Whenever you’re feeling stuck, peruse Melissa’s thoughtfully compiled tips and exercises and you’ll be creating magic in no time.” – Suzy Batiz, Chief Executive and Visionary Officer, ~Pourri, The Makers of Poo~Pourri, supernatural, Alive OS®.
“Melissa’s words are authentic and important. She is a great listener and now shares reality-based strategies for imagining your own imperfect, fulfilling life.” – Martha Hennessey, Former New Hampshire State Senator / House of Representative
“This is the book for a mom who wants a second jet engine to embark on her own journey from thinking she will have to wait another lifetime to dream big to knowing she can take steps right now to uncover and do what she would find more fulfilling at this life stage. Melissa writes both intimately and conversationally about topics that many moms around the world can relate to (some dads too). She invites the reader into a personal and deep journey about topics that are crucially important to uncover what would make a mom truly happy to work on…even after the kids are in bed. It was an honor and a pleasure to speak with her for an interview, which she has included excerpts of in this book, too!” – Ken Honda, Japan’s best selling zen millionaire, author of Happy Money: The Japanese Art of Making Peace with Your Money
Moms like us with big dreams and school-age kids:
For moms like me, the pandemic was an opportunity to re-evaluate and course-correct things in our lives we weren’t thrilled with. Coming out of this period, sluggish yet motivated, so many of us can use this book to help us wake up! If you’re looking to refresh, reenergize, and yes, reimagine a better version of your life, this book is for you. I loved the hilarious, yet poignant stories about motherhood today and the window into the world of those who’ve gone for it – and did it. – Macollvie Neel, Brooklyn, NY
“The words: imagination, play and fun are not the usual things we as mothers think of when wondering how to get a grip back on our career and I believe it provides a really fresh take and lots of food for thought for mothers reading it. Its tone is so energetic and fresh!” – Alejandra Molina, Coach, Miami, Florida
“Melissa is a mom of three with big dreams who tells it like it is. She draws on her own experiences and the experiences of professionals she’s interviewed for her podcast to reflect on the plight of the mother. How do women conform to or challenge the traditional “mom script”? If you’re a mom, what can you do to break the “cultural glass ceiling” to be yourself and a great parent, all without having to force yourself into a mom mold that doesn’t fit you? Melissa is like a great friend, honest and wise and funny, telling you about her life and asking you to reflect on yours. This book is a great purchase for moms in every stage of life.” – Maureen Turner Carey, Librarian, Austin, Texas
“In her book, Melissa shows us that motherhood does not have to be a pause or an end to your pre-child self. With guidance from her podcast guests, she encourages us to think big, find what lights us up, think big, and move towards our goals with the steps that fit the reality of our lives as they are today. In doing so we honor and inspire our child(ren), and our own inner child.” – Katherine Howell, Museum Administrator, Queens, NY