Dr. Nima Rahmany Discusses How to Become a Cycle Breaker in Your Family, Episode 97

Want to finally accept that it is you who may need to be the cycle breaker in your family? It’s a tough pill to swallow. Personally, I’ve gagged a couple of times whilst holding onto this thought – the thought that it’s me who needs to ultimately take full ownership for my own happiness and release any need for others to accept or acknowledge my path. 

You may also have to contend with certain emotions or clear up some dark clouds, and swallow a similar metaphorical pill. If this rings true, then tune in to today’s episode featuring Dr. Nima Rahmany. 

You’ll uncover how to start your healing journey as a way to uplift your emotional well-being, the types of different attachment traumas you may have never worked through, and how a present-day conversation that could trigger you could actually be coming from a place in the past when you were a child.

Consider today’s episode your chance to learn more about how you can become the cycle breaker in your family.

Dr. Nima Rahmany’s Biography

Dr. Nima Rahmany, DC, CCWP is both a Chiropractor and an educator, specializing in helping individuals and professionals get to the ROOT CAUSE of their physical and emotional challenges – from being stressed, depressed, and anxious – to living Powerfully Aligned and on Purpose. 

After building a successful Chiropractic practice in Maple Ridge, BC, Dr. Nima sold his clinic in June 2016 to pursue his passion for teaching and coaching professionals who are stressed, depressed, and anxious to transform and have their best year ever – in both a private and corporate setting.

Dr. Nima has integrated all the mind-body tools in his quest for healing stress-related disorders into one, a simple-to-follow method called “The Overview Method,” which is “the adjustment above atlas” that he teaches one-on-one and in groups all over the world through his engaging and “edutaining” lectures filled with inspired authenticity and “edutainment.”

Share this episode with those in your life who may need to be freed from maladaptive family patterns that have robbed them of feeling joy and abundance. Think about those whom you trust and you think could use some help in being sure that future generations don’t ever have to deal with any kind of the tough stuff you did.

Highlights

  • Curiosity: How can you use this gift we each have to ask ourselves before we react? What other ways can we interpret this situation?
  • Courage: Have compassion towards yourself if you’re feeling bad. Dr. Nima mentioned your inner game vs. the things that are capturing your attention outside of you. Once you avoid feeling, the shadow is repressed.
  • Creativity: You need to feel safe as that inner child (when you are triggered) in order for your frontal cortex to work/turn on.
  • Intergenerational trauma cycles: The root cause of what’s stopping you in your relationship, your health, and your feelings of scarcity are all unresolved attachment trauma stored in the body. You are called to become the cycle breaker of this intergenerational trauma that we’re all holding on to.
  • Healing: During this pandemic, relationships are breaking down and people feel more disconnected, dissociated, fearful, and run by fear. Families are being divided and we need to break that cycle in the body, creating safety, healing relationships, creating intimacy and understanding.
  • Regulation: We heal by creating a new narrative in our bodies. Reading books and doing therapy doesn’t necessarily address trauma in your nervous system. There needs to be emotional regulation and connection.
  • Trauma: Trauma comes in different types and forms. There’s a mini attachment trauma, which is the response in our bodies.
  • Safety: In our family system, we are taught how to handle adversity and meet uncertainty. And to many of us, it was met with a lot of anxiety and fear that’s dumped on to us and this creates this free-flowing anxiety within the body where you feel unsafe.
  • Conflict: In some cases, we identity out of conflict and conflict defines who we are. We have these relationship breakdowns, but we have to address this whole intergenerational conversation for healing to take place.
  • Attachment: When you’re in a romantic relationship, there’s a breakdown and we have an attachment, which happens after six months to a year. Then you’re no longer bound by the presence of that relationship, but a recurrence of your past. 
  • Pattern: Once you get attached to someone, which you don’t get in a business relationship, you now aren’t cognitively thinking and you’re run by your child mind that wasn’t seen or heard and that felt rejected and abandoned. And it becomes a pattern.
  • Cycle breaker: This is your journey through becoming a cycle breaker. You’ve known that there’s something off with your family bloodline, but you can’t figure it out, and everyone’s messed up. And you can see how it spilled over in your life. 
  • Acknowledgment: Our hero’s journey is to get to the place where your healing is no longer dependent on anybody else and acknowledge your pain.
  • Accountability: The moment you break free is when you start to take on the R word – which is responsibility. To truly heal, we have to get to the place where we no longer need mom and dad. 
  • Resistance: When you really take it on within a short time, your world around you starts to shift. You break free from people whom you saw as your perpetrators. 
  • Fortitude: Start with a vision. It always begins with a vision. Unfortunately, a large percentage of people don’t even have that. They’re so dissociated, and they’re so in trauma that they’ve lost the vision.
  • Inner world: Your internal nervous system state impacts your relationship with life itself. So when something breaks down, you realize you have to start to take ownership of this inner world so you get to a place of alignment, safety, and connection with yourself.
  • Priority: Make the breaking of the cycle a priority, otherwise, the outer world takes over.
  • Process: When you get triggered, you have an access point to go inward and repair what just came up in that moment and return back as a functional adult because you took a moment to expand that space between stimulus and response. 
  • Attention: Trauma healing work is an exercise of how to focus attention. If we don’t harness this skill, our attention gets taken by something outside of us, rather than intentionally focused by what’s within us. 
  • Practice: You will never run out of nervous system activations in your day that are going to bring up younger core wound parts of yourself. The question is how graceful can you respond without suppressing your emotions? 
  • Timeframe: It’s a forever process because this is consciousness work. You’re never going to be done. You just go to different levels of complexity and refinements. 
  • Vulnerability: We all want emotional maturity, safety, nonreactivity, empathy, and courage, but we can’t have them because of the shadows that are untouched. Once we get vulnerable with those shadow parts of ourselves, all of those things start to emerge naturally through us.
  • Trigger: Becoming trigger-proof doesn’t mean triggerless. When you’re triggered, you get activated in your prefrontal cortex and now you’re governed by your amygdala or your child’s mind. So you won’t remember when you’re triggered. 
  • Past wounds: The reason why you’re so angry and you want to react has little to do with what’s happening right now. But it’s a repetition of feeling of a past, unresolved emotional injury, rejection, whatever. 
  • Validation: What’s happening is not what’s happening now. You can foster the skill of having that reaction, and completely validating your child’s mind that just came up by talking to your inner child.
  • Victimization: We love our victim story. A part of us identifies with seeing mom or dad as the villain. It gives us a sense of self when we have an opposition. This is the journey of the ego. 
  • Awareness: If we don’t learn to autonomically regulate ourselves, we’re going to need to create little sparks of activation. Anger is a good way of doing it. The way to heal it is to learn how to autonomically regulate and learn how to be the active operator of your nervous system through awareness and practice.

Links to continue to learn from:

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Melissa Llarena

Melissa helps movers and shakers up to those in the corner office rediscover what makes them unique so that they can land their dream job in a forward-thinking company where their ideas are listened to, valued, and supported.

She brings insights from having worked in 16-business units (including Human Resources) in NY, Paris, and London. Additionally, in her former corporate career, she worked on billion-dollar brands for P&G and on IBM for Ogilvy & Mather. Later, as the founder and CEO of Career Outcomes Matter, Melissa created a 3-step “sellable strengths” process which has been the centerpiece of her clients' results.

Melissa applies this method consistently to support mid-level professionals up to the c-suite to get into Fortune Global 500 organizations and agencies. She studied Psychology at NYU and earned her MBA from the Tuck School of Business at Dartmouth.

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