Stop Self-Sabotaging Your Success and Become a Fearless Thought Leader, Episode 90

Are you self-sabotaging your success? You may have spent a decade in a particular field and now you want to bring your talents to a new community that could really use your help. Maybe you’re now ready to fulfill your life purpose and share your message with the world. Or maybe you want to put out your best work possible. You want to start working on your dreams, you want to feel aligned, and you want to start building out your legacy. 

If you are an aspiring thought leader and you find yourself in any of those scenarios and you want to leave a mark on this world, then this conversation is relevant to you.

Look around you right now. Who is out there putting out those TEDx talks that you wish you could put out? Who is launching a foundation? Who is an influencer right now? Who just quit their job to own their own business? 

If you see them as competition, don’t! See that as evidence or signs from the universe that you just need to pick up the pace. You have one life, this is not a rehearsal. If it could happen to someone on LinkedIn, it can happen to you as well.  

When you see people online, living their absolute best lives this tends to breed jealousy. And jealousy is a terrible thing to focus on when you are trying to become a fearless thought leader. This notion that you might not have anything to celebrate is absolutely false. 

There is always something to celebrate about. The problem is that you’re focusing on the wrong things. You’re busy comparing yourself to someone else that you’re not looking at what you are bringing to the table. 

At the end of the day, it’s a mindset issue – and it’s actually quite easy to fix. This means you have to get to a place where you’re spending no time looking at everyone else and feeling jealous. Instead, pour out all your energy, time, and effort into becoming a fearless thought leader. Don’t focus on why you’re not winning or why you’re not as successful as those people you see online. Instead, think that you can as well. 

Share this episode with aspiring thought leaders who are ready to create an impact and share their message to the world but still couldn’t muster up the courage to take action. Now is the time to take a step forward!


  • Gratitude: Be grateful for whatever you have right now – education, access to water, your comfy bed, etc. And these are things you might not have considered worthy of immense gratitude. There’s so much to celebrate! Focus on everything you can celebrate in your life. 
  • Mindset: Stand guard in terms of what you let into your consciousness. Celebrate people who are winning and who are doing things you wish you could be doing. 
  • Action: Accept whatever is your reality but don’t stop there. Choose to do something anyway. 
  • Empowerment: Decide at some point that you want to become a fearless thought leader more than playing a victim who just dreamt about becoming a fearless thought leader one day. Stop making excuses.
  • Vision: Imagine a new world where you’re pouring all of your energy into your future. What if you could move faster and in a forward direction? 
  • Change: You have a shot at what you want out of your life, but not if you continue to hold on to your current way of life. Not if you continue to feel angered by other people’s successes and celebrations. And not if you continue to dismiss your own celebrations.
  • Courage Makerspace: You need a proven, sustainable strategy that works with your human tendencies. The Courage Makerspace™ is built around our natural tendencies.
  • Focus: Shift your focus on what you can do and the help you can get and know that your success is not impossible. 
  • Courage: Pour all of your energy into everything you should be doing in fulfilling your purpose, achieving your dreams, and becoming a fearless leader. 
  • Avoidance: A lot of people are procrastinating because they think they’re not ready to become fearless leaders so they’re not taking the steps forward.
  • Accountability: Find a mentor, have a system that works and get the accountability necessary to boost courage.
  • Self-sabotage: Stop self-sabotaging your dreams, your impact, and the ideal vision of the life you know you should be leading right now.
  • Thoughts: We have about 60,000 thoughts or so a day. But most of the thoughts that we tell ourselves are just recycled. Those same thoughts tend to be recycling through your mind and limiting your impact. 
  • Life purpose: The thought leaders on my online powerful coaching program are those on a personal mission to fulfill their authentic life purpose. 
  • Checking in: If you see everyone else’s priorities featured on your calendar and there’s not any of your own on your calendar, take note of it. If you keep talking over and over to your friends about the things you didn’t accomplish or complaining about everyone else’s successes, those are data for you to consider.
  • Investment: Where are you investing your limited time? are you investing your time watching everyone else live their life? Are you trying to figure out how to become a thought leader on your own? 
  • Time: Now is the only time that matters because people need your help right now more than ever. You need to show up and push through your hesitation, and learn how to overcome your fears and leverage your talents right now. 

About Melissa Llarena

Melissa brings a makerspace mindset that is laser-focused on creatively making space for courage for those with a big message to share with the world. A makerspace is a collaborative workspace with very different tools meant for making things fueled by active imaginations. In a makerspace, the goal is to inspire new creations. In Melissa’s program called Courage Makerspace ™ we are making space for courage in your daily life so that you can become an incredible thought leader who has the courage to connect, communicate, and create something incredible that will have an impact on the world. 

What makes Courage Makerspace™ different is that it uniquely brings an interdisciplinary and creative approach to high-performance coaching. This online program is based on psychological principles, the art of storytelling, and incorporates proprietary experiential tools that harness the power of our imagination. Melissa has infused proven strategies and insights that have empowered clients around the world.  Her background includes a psychology degree from NYU, an MBA from the Tuck School of Business at Dartmouth, and she holds a Transformational Coaching Academy certificate based on Tony Robbins principles and Landmark Education insights. She is a native New Yorker who has lived/worked in Paris as well as London, and courageously relocated to Sydney, Australia with her family.

Catch her Tuesdays for a new episode of An Interview With Melissa Llarena, where she brings the world’s most creative, curious, and courageous entrepreneurs to your earbuds.

Want to be a COURAGEOUS thought leader?

If you intend to become a thought leader and have the courage to communicate your message with precision, book an appointment with me in the next 24 hours. We’re going to assess where you are on this confidence journey, then we’re going to put our heads together and come up with a step-by-step game plan to define how you can rebuild your courage when you need it. Book this free session by going to

Want to continue the conversation?

Find me on Instagram! You can read my daily mini-blogs centered on the same three topics that my podcast features: creativity, courage, and curiosity. I believe that without all three it would be impossible to solve the challenges we were each uniquely made to solve. Wouldn’t you agree? I’m easy to find on Instagram @melissallarena

Rather keep it professional?

Let’s connect on LinkedIn. I encourage every single podcast listener to connect with me.

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Melissa Llarena

Melissa helps movers and shakers up to those in the corner office rediscover what makes them unique so that they can land their dream job in a forward-thinking company where their ideas are listened to, valued, and supported.

She brings insights from having worked in 16-business units (including Human Resources) in NY, Paris, and London. Additionally, in her former corporate career, she worked on billion-dollar brands for P&G and on IBM for Ogilvy & Mather. Later, as the founder and CEO of Career Outcomes Matter, Melissa created a 3-step “sellable strengths” process which has been the centerpiece of her clients' results.

Melissa applies this method consistently to support mid-level professionals up to the c-suite to get into Fortune Global 500 organizations and agencies. She studied Psychology at NYU and earned her MBA from the Tuck School of Business at Dartmouth.

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