How To Change Your Relationship With Yourself, Where To Begin When It Comes To Shifting Your Identity, Kara Loewentheil Shares Her Law To Life Coaching Career Journey, Episode 63

Ever wonder why you think certain thoughts that do not serve you? Would you like to learn how to change those thoughts? In this conversation, you will understand yourself better than your BFF! This one is perfect for anyone who identifies as a women or has been socialized as a woman because Kara is about helping women how to control the thing we can: our own brains! Kara Loewentheil is a Master Certified Coach with a B.A. from Yale and J.D. from Harvard Law. In the last four years after pivoting from a legal career, she has grown her life coaching business from 0 to 7 figures. She’s the host of the iTunes top-rated self-help podcast Unf*ck Your Brain which has been downloaded 10M times, and she has been featured in outlets like Marie Claire, Mind Body Green,, and The Huffington Post. Kara lives in New York City.

Learn more at Share this episode with your three favorite feminists who are done with being told how they should think or be and would much rather define their identity on their terms. We covered so much during this conversation from how anyone can think about leaving a successful career, to how we can coach ourselves, to where to tactically begin any thought work so that we can get out of our own way. Bookmark this one!


  • Identity: Can it evolve or should it be stagnant?
  • On Leaving A Legal Career: Did I really need to be a lawyer?
  • Being Judged: Reasonable vs. unreasonable thoughts.
  • Authenticity: How can we become more of ourselves?
  • Women: Societal messages and their impact 
  • Control vs. Guiding: More about our very human under- and overestimations
  • Self-Soothing: How can we do this when starting a self-coaching process?
  • Suffering: Why do we suffer so much? Think: mental anguish.
  • Feminism: Different emotions are coded feminine vs. manly.
  • Parenting: What unconscious things may we be teaching our kids?
  • Limiting Beliefs: How can we work through any limiting beliefs when shifting identities?
  • Changing Our Lives: This requires thinking new thoughts and letting go of old ones
  • How To Begin: Do this writing exercise! Pick a painful thought and reflect upon it. Listen to The Thought Ladder episode on How To UnF**k Your Brain the podcast to complete this thought work in detail.

Links to quench your curiosity:

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Melissa Llarena

Melissa helps movers and shakers up to those in the corner office rediscover what makes them unique so that they can land their dream job in a forward-thinking company where their ideas are listened to, valued, and supported.

She brings insights from having worked in 16-business units (including Human Resources) in NY, Paris, and London. Additionally, in her former corporate career, she worked on billion-dollar brands for P&G and on IBM for Ogilvy & Mather. Later, as the founder and CEO of Career Outcomes Matter, Melissa created a 3-step “sellable strengths” process which has been the centerpiece of her clients' results.

Melissa applies this method consistently to support mid-level professionals up to the c-suite to get into Fortune Global 500 organizations and agencies. She studied Psychology at NYU and earned her MBA from the Tuck School of Business at Dartmouth.

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